Member-only story
Insidious Manipulation.
I’m writhing. Twisting. Aching. Throwing up. Screaming. Shuddering. Crying. Calling out for help. And at the same time, not wanting help. Not wanting someone to pull me out of this nightmare because the intensity of my love for you is powerful and intoxicating. You’re like my own personal drug. I use you and you use me and the pleasure and excitement when we use each other is hypnotic.
But still i can’t deny the fact that I’m suffering badly.
I’m at my wit’s end. Trying to comprehend how i let you control me? How and why i chose to surrender to your insidious manipulation? Was it a conscious decision? I’m pretty sure i knew what you were doing to me in the moment but i chose to ignore it. I gave you a second chance and it backfired. I was already down on the ground and you decided to kick me harder. Harder than before.
And so my heart was dressed in blood. It was dressed in your lies. Dressed in your secrets. Dressed in your deception. You painted my heart in poison. Thank-you.
You made me the definition of ‘emotional discomfort’.
Have you shot me? Am I dead? Is this real? I remembered thinking.
How is it that i feel poisoned?
How is that my head is spinning so fast?
